(February 24, 2025)
Last week we looked at the spouse who is withholding physical intimacy from their spouse. This week, we examine the question, “What if you are the one forced to live without physical intimacy in your relationship?”
First, there is a difference between a spouse who can’t give physical expression to their love and one who won’t. I am talking today about living with someone who could be intimate physically but won’t. For the deserted partner the loneliness is almost unbearable. There is a deep sense of rejection and abandonment. That is why in many states “alienation of affection” used to be a legal reason for divorce. Some may advocate this, but I do not, especially if children are present.
For the Christian one must consider carefully, and biblically, the impact of such a drastic decision as to divorce. Biblically, there are only two reasons given to divorce – the first is adultery (Matt. 5:7-8) and the second is abandonment (1 Cor. 7:15). If neither of these two reasons have occurred, then divorce is not an option.
A more practical reason to remain together is for the sake of the children. While some may dismiss this reason as trivial, I believe it is a powerful incentive. Love considers others more important than yourself. To continue to live together in a relationship without romantic and physical intimacy is very difficult, but it can be done, through God’s grace. And it is a deep expression of love for your family that pleases the Lord. I know of several men who are living proof of this truth. Finally, adultery is not the answer! If you are considering seeking another relationship, please stop. Keep your promise to stay faithful “for better or worse.” God will honor you and help you; He cannot if you sin in this way. It is better to suffer with God on your side than to sin alone and receive the consequences.