(February 17, 2025)
I would like to speak to two groups of people in the next two articles. First to the spouse who is withholding physical intimacy from their partner. Next week, to the spouse who is being shut out by their partner from physical intimacy.
Let me say at the outset that I realize there can be a host of reasons for frigidity on the part of a man or woman. There is not always an easy answer to this difficulty. My purpose here is not to blame or condemn, but to encourage you, if you are the one withholding physical intimacy from your spouse, to seek the cause and address it. Don’t simply let year after year drag on without seeking help.
There IS help available! It may be there is a physical problem that a routine physical exam will reveal. Or maybe counseling will help. Probably both will be needed. For the sake of your relationship, please try.
One more thing. Adultery will destroy any chance of regaining physical and spiritual intimacy until you confess and repent of your sin to God and to your spouse. The road will be rough, but it is possible to renew your love after an affair. Others have done it and so can you. Your family deserves your best effort to repair what’s broken and let God forgive you and heal you both.
If you are the wounded spouse, you CAN forgive! God will enable you. But you may have to pray, “Lord, help me to be willing to be made willing to forgive my spouse.” The hurt goes deep but not too deep for Jesus to reach.
If you are the guilty party, give your wounded partner time. Repent deeply and sincerely and do everything you can to prove your loyalty. You may have to change jobs or move. Your marriage is worth it. Keeping your family together is worth it! Commit yourself to doing whatever it takes. And God be with you both.