Stop the Blame Game! Part 2 Take Responsibility

Men, did you realize that the blame game started in the Garden of Eden? It goes like this: the man blamed the woman, the woman blamed the serpent, and the serpent didn’t have a leg to stand on. Ok, so it’s not that funny. But there is a lot of truth in that minor league joke. 

You see, the man DID blame someone, two someone’s, in fact. Adam blamed Eve, “The woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it” [emphasis mine], and God, “The woman YOU put here with me…” [emphasis mine]. And guys, the truth is many of us have been blaming our wives ever since. (Quotes from the NIV – Genesis 3:12) 

Have these words ever crossed your mind? “If my wife were more submissive, I would be a better leader.” Or have you ever said, “fine! If you don’t want to listen to me, do what you want!” Both are two ways we blame our wives for our lack of leadership. I have said these things and more. Maybe you have, too. 

While our wives are certainly not perfect, it does not absolve us of the requirement God has given us to take responsibility for the relationship we have with our wife. We must seek the Lord for how to lead them wisely. But what does that look like? 

First, we must stop the blame game! It is imperative that we admit to God, and to ourselves, 1) that we have not accepted the role that God gave us to lead our wife 2) that we have been selfish and unconcerned about our wife’s needs 3) we have not loved our wife as Christ loves His Church. 

In God’s eyes you do not “lose your man card” for putting your wife first, you lose your “man card” for putting yourself first!  

Is this hard to swallow, men? It was and still is for me at times. I do not say these things because I have “arrived.” I have a long way to go. But by God’s grace I am on the path and learning as I go.  

How about you? Do you need to repent of blaming your wife for your failure to lead? Do you need to repent of your pride and selfishness? I encourage you to go to a mature brother in the faith, confess your need and seek God’s wisdom.