For those of us who want to leave a godly legacy, grappling with and understanding the legacy we have received from our father is of utmost importance. Let me say at the outset that none of us have received a perfect legacy from our fathers. But the truth is that some of our fathers have given many of us a lot of hurdles to overcome in our quest to leave a better, godly legacy to our children and grandchildren I don’t intend to cover or solve all those hurdles in this short article, however, I do believe that there are three simple things we can keep in mind as we work through our struggles.
First, let me say that you should not try to make this journey alone. Pray about and find a good christian counsellor or trusted friend who can help you. “In the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” (Prov. 11:14) and “You are better off to have a friend than to be all alone. If you fall, your friend can help you up, but if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble.” (Eccl. 4:9-10).
Second, realize that, if you are a child of God, you have the Holy Spirit within you to guide you and empower you through the discovery and healing process. Jesus knows and cares about everything you have experienced. He knows exactly what needs to happen for you to deal with and overcome the pain of the difficult aspects of your inherited legacy.
And finally, even though your father left you a legacy of hurt and dysfunction, focus on seeking to be the man, father, husband and grandfather God wants you to be. In this way you will avoid the pitfall of operating from a negative viewpoint that causes you to swing too far in the opposite direction of the legacy you received. For instance, if your father was harsh and abusive, your tendency may be to be too permissive and lenient. God wants you to be like Jesus in your role as a father and grandfather. If you seek to be like Him, you will be ok. And cut yourself some slack. You are not going to be perfect. Relax in the love of your Savior and trust Him to help you where you need help. You CAN do it!
By the way, when you blow it with your kids or grandchildren, admit it! They know you blew it, you know you blew it and didn’t act the godly man, so confess it. You will gain their respect in the end and at the same time you will teach them how to fail. If you act like you never sin or make a mistake, you will actually isolate yourself from your children and grandchildren because they won’t be able to relate to you. They need to know how to handle it when a person sins or fails. And while we’re on the subject, do YOU know what to do when you sin? (disobey God) Do you know how to handle yourself when you fail? I’ll give you a hint…humility. We’ll talk more about this next time.