You No Ask…I No Forgive!

Billy Graham’s wife, Ruth Bell Graham, said, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” As any married couple knows, forgiveness is a critical element in marital harmony. Without forgiveness there is constant war, and there isn’t any couple that can survive that kind of stress for very long. We MUST forgive. 

But our mate is not the only person we need to forgive on a regular basis. There is the difficult person at church, or at work, or an ornery neighbor that we must forgive as well. This fallen world is full of people we must forgive. Those who have discovered how to forgive are free to love and receive love; those who hold onto bitterness and unforgiveness are in great bondage. They cannot love because love and unforgiveness are polar opposites. 

But what if the one who sinned against us refuses to acknowledge their offense and ask forgiveness? Do we have to forgive them?  

The short answer is yes. Our highest example is our Lord Jesus who, while hanging on a cruel cross, his life ebbing out of Him, cried to His Father, “Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” He did not mean they did not intend to take His life, but that they did not understand the significance of their actions, and the horrendous sin they were committing. But you may say, “That is because Jesus was God that He could forgive such an atrocity.” Ok, is there an example of an ordinary man forgiving in such a supernatural way? 

Yes, our example on a human level is the first martyr, Stephen. As he was being stoned to death, he cried out to God, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” None in that hate-filled crowd asked Stephen for forgiveness that day. Yet he forgave them even as they killed him. 

Friend, we must do the same. Are you holding onto bitterness and hatred because the person has not repented and asked your forgiveness? May I encourage you to follow the example of our Lord Jesus and Stephen and forgive them? God will give you the ability to forgive them if you ask. Let go of your perceived “right to revenge” and forgive them. Then pray about telling them of your decision. It may be that you set yourself and them free. Isn’t it time?