Can You Fall Out of Love?
(October 12, 2026)
The answer to our question, “Can You Fall Out of Love?” depends in large part on
how you got “in love” to begin with. If you “fell in love” like it was some cosmic
accident that you couldn’t help, then to “fall out of love” doesn’t seem so
unlikely.
What many people mean, however, when they say they fell in love, was that they
were overcome by some powerful emotion, a feeling, if you will. As long as that
feeling is there it is assumed that love is present. But is it?
The truth I am about to tell you may not sell many books or movies, but it is a
rock-solid fact – Love is a choice! Love is a decision that you make and keep on
making. YOU get to decide if you will love or stop loving.
But what do I do if the “feeling” goes away? It is vital that you remember that love
did not leave with the feeling. You still get to decide to love despite the lack of
feelings. Feelings are the caboose on the “Love train.” Your mind, or your will, is
what drives the train. Do the loving thing consistently and the feelings will follow.
1 Corinthian 13:4-8a describes what love looks like, “Love is patient and kind; love
does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with
the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things endures all
things. Love never fails…” (ESV). If you want to know whether or not you are
loving well, compare yourself to this list. Notice there is no mention of feelings.
Hollywood says, “follow your heart.” Jeremiah 17:9 says, “the human heart is
deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can understand it?” (ESV)
Following your heart can lead to disaster. Following God’s Word is safe. David said
in Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (ESV)
Jesus said, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know
the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (ESV) If you think you have fallen out of
love with your mate, please listen to this little talk. Seek godly counsel from your
Pastor or Elder. Stay with your spouse. Your family is worth fighting for!